Religion and Spirituality in a Divorce

Why do people get religious during or after a divorce?  Out of all the couples, young and old, that I know who have gone through a divorce at least one of the two got closer to God.  I’ve mentioned religion in a few posts before; therefore I will try to keep the repetition to a minimum.

 There seems to be an “extreme only” button that people push when they get scared.  Several fears creep into the minds of those separating for the first time; fear of being alone, fear of future stability, fear of income, fear of expenses, fear of sustaining oneself, and the list goes on.  Then, the “extreme only” button is pushed; meaning a person dives head first into a lifestyle only part of their former self practiced.

Out of the aforementioned couples I can think of three examples where religion became the extreme.  Now, by saying “extreme” I don’t want to give a negative vibe to the word.  Example; the female going through her divorce turned to God, bought a new Bible, started praying fervently for restoration, and became a better person when the dust settled.  The male from that relationship went in the opposite direction.  He became a whore and used his freedom to sleep with as many women as possible.  This lifestyle didn’t last, but that became his extreme.  Almost the same could be said about the other two couples; one man seeking God and the other where both parties turned to religion.

If you know someone who has done the same thing in their divorce, then understanding their actions might be simpler than imagined.  Something bad happened, even in a mutually agreed upon divorce, and they need help.  The question “Why?” arises and they need answers.  The self-worth of a person is seriously damaged and they need to feel of value again.  Pain enters and they need relief.

God can provide all of these things and more.  I want to say that most people in America are religious or have been exposed to God at one time in their life.  With each new responsibility added in marriage parts of someone’s relationship with God fade.  This is even true for the family that regularly attends church together.  When disaster strikes one tends to revert back to a place of security.  Some might go back home to their parents while others seek security with lifelong friends.  Others go back to God for help.   

Will pushing the “extreme only” ensure happiness in the long run?  If the extreme is seeking God, then I believe the answer can only be a profound YES.  God values each and every one of us and strengthening your relationship with him will ONLY better you.  If the extreme is seeking satisfaction through sex, alcohol, drugs, or any other form of self destruction, then the answer is an obvious NO.  Consequences for these actions are many; STDs, addiction, depreciation of self, and possible damage done to your children, if they are present.

My advice is to try and keep away from pressing that button and sending your life into a whirlwind of disaster.  Try to stay stable because the pain will fade and normalcy will return one day.  If you have to go extreme, then put your trust in God and let him do the dramatic changing in your life.

If you have an issue with believing in God, trusting a higher authority, or think God isn’t around in times like these, then my next post will be for you; God’s Lottery Ticket.