Too Much Pain.

You’re standing there because He told you to.  So, why does the weight on your shoulders feel so heavy?  You went down that path and it didn’t lead where you thought it would.  You’re right back in the same place.  You grew closer to God because you didn’t want to feel this way again.  He promised you a different outcome.  The waters are rising.  You fall to your knees because you don’t know what else to do.  You scream out to God, but you no longer have a voice.  The water rushes over you and knocks you back.  You’re struggling to stay afloat.  Wind and waves crash against your face.  You frantically try to keep your head above water.  Your arms are burning and your legs cramp up.  The last ounce of will leaves your body and you realize how broken you are.

You start to sink.  You’re reaching up for help as the salty water enters your mouth.  Your throat burns.  You can’t breathe.  Tears are streaming down your face.  You cry because the pain is too great to deal with.  Life wasn’t supposed to turn out this way.  Where are you to go when the skies are dark and you can’t see past a decision you haven’t even made yet?

You’ve already reached out to everyone you know for help.  They prayed a thousand times just as you have.  Yesterday was better, but today returned with force and left you hurting.  God took a vacation and forgot about you.  You’re alone and dying from the inside out.  Tomorrow will never be as bright as the past you long for.  Darkness overtakes you.

In that moment you feel more alone than you ever have in your entire life.  You’re done talking to God.  You want to turn to something else because your trust has been shattered.  You simply want to escape the pain.

That’s when the brightest light you’ve ever seen pierces the darkness.  An explosion from the surface of the water opens your eyes.  You see an arm reaching down to save you.  The hand grabs yours with force and pulls you up.  You emerge from the waters.  Ferocious winds tear at your clothes.  Howling winds shriek past your ears.  Lightening slashes the night skies.  A massive tidal wave is heading for you.  This time you won’t be able to survive the onslaught.

“Hold me,” He whispers.

You peel your face away from His chest and notice Jesus holding you tightly in the storm.  You look into His eyes.  The peace in them transfers to your soul.  He sees the fear resonating from your eyes and opens his mouth.

Gently he speaks, “Peace, be still."

 

The tidal wave falls like rain.  The winds, rain, and lightening evaporate.  The ocean beneath your feet turns placid.  That’s when you realize you’re standing on water.  It’s the first miracle in a long line of gifts God is about to impart in your life.  All you have to do is keep holding on.  Hold on to Jesus.